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The Determination Making Process
Making selections is never easy and the worst thing is we're by no means taught the way to make decisions. No one taught us this life skill as we're growing up. Nobody in school or at home taught us. We only be taught via observation. And most of the time we observe individuals not knowing the right way to make a call!
And one of the vital ineffective processes is in the making of a pros and cons list! And this is likely one of the hottest ways in which people base their decisions on.
So the most typical query I get from my students and purchasers is this: Do I make my determination based mostly on logic or based on what my coronary heart tells me? Ah, this is the place we trip ourselves up BIG TIME. We regularly see logic and our feelings as separate entities, because we've not experienced them sufficient to be one unit. And we've got not understood ourselves enough to know that they are interconnected.
Now let's play satan's advocate here: what's logic? The definition of logic is correct reasoning. But right reasoning isn't the last word truth. Our reasoning is predicated on info we have at the moment, and so logic expands or contracts depending on available data/information. This also means that logic can change or evolve as we evolve. Once we talk about logic, we seem to have a fixed idea that logic does not change. However once we talk about emotions/emotions, we've no qualms about accepting that yes, our feelings/emotions do change relying on situations/circumstances.
If each logic and our feelings do evolve/remodel, this implies that our choice-making process is definitely much simpler than we think. Why? We have a higher tolerance for things to change, and that even if we make a call now primarily based on what we know, that decision has room to evolve as well because we're open to the concept that we will have more information over time.
Ultimately, this means that we will only make choices based on the present moment. I know this sounds kinda zen. However this is the only way we can move. We can not live our lives stuck in the past based mostly on past info, neither can we wait in anticipation of what is to come, and be in paralysis, not knowing the way to make the decision. So we are able to only make decisions primarily based on the current moment. Does this make sense to you?
The problem with us people is that we're so filled with fears that confront us in our aware and unconscious that it is sort of unattainable for most individuals to make decisions based mostly on the present moment. Most people can not live like this. They need guarantees in life, they want ensures in success, they concern to be in pain, to be hurt. And they just want to control everything occurring of their lives, which we know is impossible.
Attempting to control everything and wanting guarantees isn't dwelling, and it comes from a particularly selfish perspective that you just actually think you will have any type of control in anyway, which stems from a narcissistic egomaniac mind! Can you imagine that almost all of humanity working this way?
Ultimately, what occurs is that individuals start making selections based mostly on their fears. "By no means trust your fears, they do not know your strengths" this is such an excellent quote! Our fears are brief-sighted and normally haven't any depth in perspective, and making our choices based on fears limits us, and prevents us from seeing more and additional, and it definitely keeps us within the loop of our comfort zone. We really feel a brief sense of freedom, thinking we have made the choice that serves us, however no matter selections now we have made that stems from concern will come back to hang-out us, it is only a matter of time.
As zen as it could sound, the simplest resolution-making process is still one that is primarily based on the present second, that feeds into our empowered state, and gives us a way of freedom to understand that: hey! I'm always free to vary my perspective about things, folks, situations and that I'm allowed to evolve.
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